This Mother Wants you to Help Her Spread Kindness in Memory of Her Son's Birthday

Today, he should be four.

 

Today, I should have woke up and scooped him up in my arms, showered him with kisses and sang happy birthday to him.

 

Today, none of that happened. Because today, he is still in heaven and I am still on earth.

 

But today is still his birthday, and today he is still remembered by my family.

 

Today my heart hurt just as much as that first birthday we didn’t have together. I still found it hard to breathe at moments. I still cried. I still mourned. I still hated the fact that he died and I couldn’t do anything to save him.

 

The truth is, grieving the death of my son has not gotten any easer. And I don’t believe it ever will. These wounds will not heal. The gaping hole in the world where he should be will never be filled.

 

AND because of my son’s short life I have also learned the value of a breath, the importance of a day, and the beauty of each living thing on this earth. I am bolder. I am braver. I love harder.

 

Today was also a beautiful day of cerebrating Elijah’s life and sharing his love with others.

 

For those of you who don’t know me or our family’s story. My son, Elijah Cain Eldridge, passed away in 2015 suddenly at 3 months old. Because all he ever knew was love and joy, we promised to use those very things to change the world in his name. Our family does an act of kindness every single day in his memory and I share it to my personal facebook page with the hashtag #loveelijah. Today is Elijah’s birthday.

 

When I was pregnant with Elijah, my husband joked that Elijah was holding out to be born on National Donut Day. June 5th our littlest son made his grand entrance into the world on National Donut Day 2015. We even had donuts in the hospital room post delivery to celebrate. This morning we had donuts for breakfast to celebrate our sweet boy once again.

 

Last night I painted 98 “love” rocks to put out on a walking trail near our new house. One for each day Elijah lived. The idea was to place the rocks out all over, as little reminders that Elijah’s love is always around. So today, my husband and I took a hike and placed all 98 rocks out with the help of our son Gabriel.

I also painted this painting in honor of Elijah’s love in honor of his birthday. Writing and Painting have been a huge part of my healing journey. Painting something for Elijah just seemed right today. Hearts are one of the many signs that we use to communicate with Elijah. He always has a special way of showing me he is near by making hearts appear.

 

Tonight we ate pizza.

 

I wish I could do more. I am always wishing I could do more. I cannot explain to you the pain I carry each day in my heart knowing I will NEVER have a birthday, or any other day, with him here on earth.

I am learning to be okay with doing what I can with what I have. As long as I keep doing at least one conscious act of kindness each day in his memory, I am making a difference because of him. I will climb that mountain one day and have the victorious moment of seeing Elijah change the world, today I am okay with being in the valley with my painted rocks spreading love.

 

However, I am asking for your help. I know it’s kind of late in the evening, but if you could please do ONE act of kindness today, tomorrow, or whenever the love hits your heart in memory of Elijah and share it to social media with the hashtag #loveelijah, or find a way to share it with me. I feel like this would be the ultimate birthday tribute to my son.

 

I promise Elijah I would change the world in his memory, and I plan to keep that promise. I’d love your help doing just that.

 

He matters. He deserves to be remembered. I miss him so so much.

 

Thank you for your love and support.

 

Always.

 

Kelly Airhart

www.kellyairhart.com

 

All item sales from the Love Elijah collection will help our family change the world with kind acts in memory of Elijah.

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