June 1st, my family is moving to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I am both excited and terrified. 

The truth is, it is time to move forward. It has been quite a ride since my son Elijah passed away in 2015. It has been both beautiful...and...well...ugly.

I bought a book yesterday called, "The Artist's Journey," to help me move forward in my path as an artist and the first assignment is titled, "The Ugly Painting." 

A lot of times in our lives, we are afraid of the unknown. We are afraid to take action without knowing that the outcome. We hope everything is going to be the beautiful manifestation we desire, but we are not 100% that it will be, so we give up before we begin to make things happen. We are afraid to make the painting, because it could suck and there is a possibility of no one loving it, liking it, or buying it. We stop ourselves from creating the thing, because the thing might not be perfect. We love to stay in our comfort zones, even if our comfort zones are really not so comfortable. 

Life can get messy, but that doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. I feel like beauty and ugliness are both subjective. Nothing is perfect or promised. I have learned the hard way that I am pretty resilient and that failure is always and option. As an artist, I have to accept that I will make some ugly paintings. 

In the assignment tonight from "The Artist's Journey," I was supposed to make a word map of things I found ugly. It could be objects, emotions, colors, memories, etc.

I found that I really had a hard time finding physical objects or "things" that were ugly. I like to believe I can find the beauty in most anything. However, some of the ideas or emotions I wrote down as ugly can also be found as beautiful as times. Others are ugly all day er'y day. 

I'm curious, what do you find ugly?

the artist's journey ugly painting

"One challenge many artists face is the fear of creating 'ugly' paintings. This begs the question: What is ugly? Historically, beauty has been associated with pleasure and value, whereas ugliness has been to disgust and devaluation. 

Modern art has turned this concept on its head by exploring works that elicits strong reactions including revulsion and displeasure."


Sending you all lots of love! 

Go change the world. You are amazing.

~Kelly Airhart

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